Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
