I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
