As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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