Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
