We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
