if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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