oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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