he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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