the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
