Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I looked at my own cervix.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
