who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
whose parrot is this?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
