Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
