weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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