We won't sleep together?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
