I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize