just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
