i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize