make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
