The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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