They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
