so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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