in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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