Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
