I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
