Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
