So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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