Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
