Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
