While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
you made out with another girl for some wings
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
