I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
