if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
