worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
