he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
