if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
