I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
