tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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