Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
