im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
