I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
