At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Who died my cat blue again?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
