that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
