I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
