Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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