so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
