I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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