GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
