so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
