He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize