Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
