sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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