he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize