His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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