ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
