i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
