my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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